Matt’s Musings on Days of Our Lives.

Philip was shot. He tossed himself in front of Morgan when one of Ava’s goons tried to level a shot at her. I guess this proves he’s noble, or perhaps just that he has a talent for being shot or mangled by weaponry. If much more of the poor guy’s flesh gets shot away, he will be on the road to becoming a bionic man. Maybe he can hire Rolf to help him out with that… That would likely be more entertaining than watching Morgan’s perpetual weeping. I know she misses her father and loves Philip, but it’s reached the point that it has just become maudlin. I had some hopes for the Philip-Morgan pairing. They’re both cute and there’s something tender between them, certainly something more sincere than in their relationships with anyone else. This is boring though and as far as passion goes, her expressions of affection are more reminiscent of a little girl longing for her missing My Little Pony than an adult romance. Hospital-bedside-romance is an even more overused situation than trapped-in-the-elevator-sex and nowhere near as fun.

The southern belle might be crying over something else soon however. It turns out that Paul is actually alive and living in John’s basement. More accurately, John is holding him captive down there and gave him more than a handful of threats this week to remind him. Logically, when John and Ava paid him a visit, he wasn’t pleased to see them. He was even less pleased to hear that someone took a shot at his daughter and Philip is now her hero. When he gets angry his drawl gets heavier, surprising since, when his daughter gets angry, hers seems to vanish. I’m sure a DOOL geneticist could explain this… or maybe Daniel could. He spent most of the week yelling without using any surfurisms. For the most part he was angry because everyone keeps ignoring his orders to stay away from Victor (although he keeps letting people in anyway). When he gave Kate hell, Chelsea stood up for her Grannie, but Kate has been disturbingly resigned lately. She only issued one threat this week, to John for her son being shot, and Mr. Black wasn’t even there to hear it.

Bo moped around Salem feeling bad. Victor thanked him again. Hope continued to be suspicious. Ava realized that Bo must have destroyed the evidence and sent the cops an anonymous e-mail asking about it. That was enough to convince Hope that he was hiding something. But when Bo wasn’t moping, EJ was. Not only are things with Sami as sloppy as ever, Nicole is still pushing him away. Sami cooled down this week after flying off the handle when he threatened to take their son away. Marlena discovered his Immigration scheme and blackmailed him into backing off. He spent the rest of the week skulking and drinking, occasionally dispensing legal advice when he wasn’t playing with blocks. Nicole broke the news that she and Trent are still married. This makes her divorce settlement with Victor null so she and EJ have to cover it up.

Max and Stephanie continued their multilingual adventures across a map of France. He asked a reporter he once had a one night stand with to dig up information on his sister. Stephanie wandered around, flirting with men for information. She had more luck and, surprisingly, so did Nick, who just happened to stumble on a video blog authored by Max’s party girl sister. Apparently she owes some people a lot of money. A strangely likable English thug named Les cornered Max and told him that if he didn’t pay him all the Euros Melanie owes him, he’ll never see her again. Actually, the threat was more convoluted, but that’s what it amounted to.

Back in Salem, Lucas is on the loose again. He was wheeled into Salem General after being viciously kicked into a bloody mess by thugs in prison. It was quickly revealed that he made a deal with the Feds to go under cover and crack a drug ring. The dealers seemed to have quickly accepted him into their upper-echelons, told him their secrets and then realized he couldn’t be trusted. Although I have no trouble accepting the most ludicrous plots, this was a bit hard to take, although I’m sure that living with Sami and Kate is probably just as bad as being in a gang. What annoyed me even more is that we were denied what could have been an utterly raucous dramatization of Lucas in prison. I kept thinking about what it would be like if Lucas was a character on “OZ”. Why are we being denied this while being forced to watch Stephanie and Max try to speak French and Hope go over the Hollingsworth evidence over and over again instead? The only highlight of it was when he told Sami that he wanted to be alone. Knowing Sami, that won’t happen, so what crime will he have to commit to get a vacation from her this time?

Next week we can look forward to the definite end of a romance and the possible end of another; Kate and Victor teaming up to protect their shrapnel attracting son; Max meeting his sister and winding up in prison. But what’s more exciting than all of that? Nicole and Chloe’s burgeoning friendship? Max learning how to ask where the washroom is without using a phrase book? Trent trimming his van dyke so he looks more devilish? – no, the return of Stefano. Will he be back to his old ways? Will he wake from his Marlena induced coma with the old John’s personality? Will he spend all of his time giving foot massages to women half his age? We’ll see…

Lines of the Week:

EJ: I thought we were through.
Nicole: We’re through having sex but not working together.

John: There is no reason to adopt that attitude. You could be floating like a bloated rag doll in the Salem River right now.

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Fun fact! Matthew Purvis wrote this story just for you on August 1st, 2008 |

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