Matt’s Musings: Days Of Our Lives Thoughts For August 16-20.
Stephanie continued her detective work. It’s too bad she works for the hospital instead of the Salem PD because she can actually get results. Recruiting some dude she once did a favor for and who desperately wants to get into her proverbial pants, she got him to hack into St. Mary’s database, in spite of the fact that it would almost certainly doom him to Hell. By the end of the week, she got to the truth that half of the cast has been waiting for and let out a long squeal.
But most of the squealing of the week came from Nicole. Since her relationship with Brady seems as dead as the victims of the Salem stalker, she tried to drown her sorrows at the Cheatin’ Heart. Rafe decided to let her use his chest to cry on. After he beat up some porn fiend who was trying to get her to re-enact Chad’s favorite scenes from “Locker Room Lolita” (which was apparently the most successful porn movie in Salem history. In fact, they still show it at the drive in theater on top of the illegal gambling den and right next to the convent district). Nicole was sort of thankful so they got pissed. They slipped back to her place so she could put on some R. Kelly and see if he could make her echo. With a little prodding, he agreed to show her all the tricks he learned when he stripped his way through the FBI academy if she would show him all the tricks she learned in her former career. As he began to strip down, he got cold feet. She mocked him and then they had a serious, if drunken, heart to heart about the feelings they have that don’t spring from the center of their bodies. They started to make out again. Sami came by and did what she usually does – peep through the window. She gasped. Nicole grinned. Sami ran. Nicole decided to kick Rafael out but then changed her mind because she wanted some cuddle time. After she fell asleep, he stole her CD. Once he promised to get her immunity, she opened up about the Sydnapping and he finally got the proof he needed to put away EJ. Maybe Elvis can join the gang Lucas was in…
The day of reckoning came to a different Salemite. Hope’s friends and family solemnly marched around town, stopping by the pub to smell the beer or the beach to smell the whale carcasses on the shore before drifting down to the seldom used Salem courthouse. They sat anxious to watch the town’s one remotely competent cop go down for the town’s biggest crime spree in recent memory. Since half the police force and lawyers in town were her victims, they all showed up to argue for leniency (except for Chuck who had better things to do). Hope was being fatalistic, which infuriated everyone. Ari showed up to bad mouth the woman who she still assumes set her up to take the fall for knocking down the town’s high and mighty. Hope was sentenced, but the judge gave her a light sentence of only two years, which was rather surprising since it was the judge the DiMeras have in their pocket.
The DiMera clan was distracted by other things all week. How could they think about Hope when they were busy thinking about EJ and Sami welding each other into the shackles of matrimonial bliss? She pondered whether she should wear white, or , more appropriately, a paper bag. EJ was just interested in trying to give her a preview of what their wedding night would be like. After all, Elvis’ sexcapades rarely last longer than that. Samanther still seemed unsure, and paced around, half-hoping that Rafe would rescue her from actually committing to something. She ended up wearing beige. Kate wondered if this speedy wedding was another product of EJ’s magical sperm. But I guess it can’t be that magical since he never succeeded in knocking Kate up. She spent most of her week worrying about the secret she was carrying, namely, that Chad is actually Stefano’s son. Kate worried about whether this revelation would shock her husband into cardiac arrest. She also cringed about how much it would confuse Chad. Since he was born in 1980, which means he’s actually older than his older brother. Chad moped most of the week. Will followed him around, casting him longing glances and tried to cheer him up. He even asked him to the movies but Chad had to go home and do his hair and listens to 80s Emo music or something.
And now for the moment you’ve all been waiting for… the spoilers. If you don’t want to know, please look away now and enjoy one of the final weekends of this unusually hot summer. Next week, Sami finally discovers the truth about the Sydnapping shenanigans, something which is sure to spoil the mood of her wedding day. This isn’t the only big secret looming. Kate continues to fret over the truth about who spawned Chad and worries how Will will feel if he learns the secret. Meanwhile, Chloe believes that she knows the truth about who knocked her up. She and Daniel travel the town flaunting her girl gut to Philip, Melanie, Victor, the longshoremen at the pier, most of the hospital staff, the pub staff, the bar staff, the pig farmers who live on the edge of town, the local daddy daycare that will end up raising the child, some frat boys getting drunk at the Ford Decker memorial and whoever else they run into. And Babs decides that he’s spent enough time blaming himself for ruining Hope’s life and driving her insane and decides that Dick must be to blame for all of her problems.
Lines of the week:
Rafe: Too much thinking.
Nicole: Oh, did I scare off da widdle boy? This whole thing has been a charade.
Rafe: I just wanted friendship and you wanted something physical.
Nicole: So I guess our night of snuggling is over?
Ian: Okay, I’ll do it. I like you, I owe you and have nothing better to do today.
Ari: How do you get guys to fall into your arms?
Nicole: Actually, I fell into his.
Nicole: No! Nope-y-dope.
Brady: It’s not cocaine! It’s a beer. I’m celebrating getting that last freakin’ monkey off my back — Nicole.
Random Salem pervert in the Cheatin’ Heart: (to Nicole) So, do you come here often? I’m one of your best fans, Misty. “Locker Room Lolita” — What a tour de force. Let’s go look for our own private locker room.
Daniel: I’m sorry I’m working. You know how I love spying, especially the plinkity-plink-plink-plink music.
Fun fact! Matthew Purvis wrote this story just for you on August 20th, 2010 |