Days Of Our Lives Fan Fiction: The Origins Of RoboRafe.

The hidden history of Salem.

Things can get pretty confusing around town. That’s probably why people sometimes write in and ask me to explain things that don’t make sense. And while that doesn’t actually make much sense to me, I do my best to answer people’s queries. While the show has been on hiatus, one viewer was so overwhelmed with boredom that they wrote in asking what happened with Rafe’s bar. Mrs. Delia Q. Knob asked: “Hey, do you or Marvin know what happened to that bar that Rafe bought? I only recently discovered that he owned one and no one ever mentions it.” I had no idea he had one either, so she pointed out that Wikipedia claims he does so it must be true.

Marvin and I did some digging in the usual channels and managed to pull a few things up from the muck. I’m not entirely sure they’ll clarify the situation for dear Delia, but it’s the best we could do. If they have not blocked it from their memories, viewers will recall that while Rafe was incommunicado and being held in the DiMera basement, his doppelganger, Arnold Finnegar, was wreaking havoc on his life. At the orders of EJ and Stefano, he was ruffling Samanther’s beef curtains like the winds of a tornado. However, they still weren’t getting along. She was too used to dealing with a doormat instead of a douche-bag. After one of their many fights, he walked out on her with the infamous statement, “It was nice to come, but it’s really good to go.”

As usual, RoboRafe/Arnold, went down to a bar to pick up floozies and have a few drinks. On that particular night, he stopped by The Beat Bar. It was formerly owned by Calliope but had gone severely downhill since Salem’s obsession with poetry slams faded. Now it was known for a kind of beating very different from Beat poetry. The owner was in that night and complaining to Arnie about how much he hated the place. Sensing opportunity and having money in his bank account for once, he decided to purchase the place in Rafe’s name.

Why anyone would open a business in Salem requires some explanation. It was Arnie’s dream to transform the club into the new Beefcakes. For those who don’t recall, Beefcakes was the male strip club where Peter Jennings used to dance back in the eighties. Arnie just happened to be one of the bastards created in a backroom there. As usual for things in Salem, this did not follow the normal channels. Dr. Rolf had been living in one of the rooms above the establishment and using the dancers there as experimental subjects for a protein and muscle enhancement formula he was trying to develop. One dark and stormy night, Stefano showed up and ordered the not-so-good doctor to produce some more pawns for him. After handing him the requisite DNA material that he’d stored in the cutting edge ziplock bag technology of the time, he ordered it done immediately. Rolf pointed out that it required a woman so his boss reminded him that there were plenty of excited women out in the club.

With help from Linda, aka Madame X, Rolf managed to find a particularly intoxicated and excited woman wearing two inch thick glasses and a beehive so high that she kept a scale model of the Salem shipyard on top of it. Her name was B.B. Cupps Finnegar. Well, we can’t tell you all of the details about what happened that night because it could get us into trouble, but eventually, little Arnie came out. The man delivering him, a Dr. Dick Baker, proclaimed, “This is why I became a doctor! To bring so much joy into the world.”

However, it was not a joyful life for young Arnie. The fact that his mother had wallpapered their shack with posters of “Conan the Barbarian” and “The Terminator” left him confused and with a distorted view of the outside world. B.B. always refused to talk about his father and forced him to take part in bodybuilding competitions as soon as he began walking. Her crummy part time jobs at Ballistix and Barney’s Burger Barn barely managed to pay her bills. Always a soft touch, Rolf anonymously sent her boxes of the protein formula he’d developed but never patented. This led to little Arnie becoming a bit too big. After his mom had a run of luck with scratch-and-win cards, she sent him to fat camp and went on the run. Little did she know that the camp was really a front for an underground gambling circuit. Since their fowl kept escaping, they’d packed in the cock fighting and decided to stage competitive eating bouts. It was in the shady underworld of pie and wiener scarfing that he’d come back in contact with Stefano. The entire operation was one of DiMera Enterprises more nefarious business ventures. Although Stefano was not exactly impressed by the dull-witted Arnie, he did sense a strange bond with him and decided to keep tabs on him throughout the rest of his life.

The circuit soon went south, literally, to Mexico, where Arnie lived for a number of years. He kept trying to fall in with the wrong crowd but he could never keep up to them. Eventually, he was arrested in a crackdown at the border and sent to live in an orphanage in Salem. Every night, he would try to walk off his excess weight by walking down by the harbor where he assumed his mom would be waiting for the ships to come in. Although he never found her, he did find Beefcakes and felt an instant connection to the place. And when he caught glimpses on the chiseled men inside and the crazed women screaming at them, he knew what he wanted to do with his life. Although he purchased the dive, he never set foot in it again. Sadly, Arnold was the victim of Salem PD incompetence and was killed right under their noses while in custody. Meanwhile, Rafe, like most business people in town, has never shown much interest in his business and it seems to magically run itself.

We hope that answers your question Delia.

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Fun fact! Matthew Purvis wrote this story just for you on August 10th, 2012 |

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