Matt’s Musings: When Daysasters Strike.
For the past week, little teasers have been leaking out about the enormous changes that will hit “DOOL” when it returns for Daysaster week after the Olympics. Soap Opera Fan Blog attended a select screening of the first episode of the explosive week and was able to smuggle out this recap. ***Please note: this is not a real recap. It is intended solely for humorous purposes. Enjoy the rest of the Olympics and come back for the real spoilers next week.***
In spite of EJ’s election promises, Salem continues to be sucked into the sewer as half the town sinks during the great Daysaster of 2012. Explosions leave everyone rattled. Doug and Julie suddenly remember why they never stick around for long while, across town, Billie realizes why she doesn’t bother getting involved in any of the plots. There’s so much electricity pulsing through the air that it might almost be enough to revive Roman’s love life. Victor does his best to control the situation with the power of cursing while Maggie loses her balance when her hair shoots up like the bride of Frankenstein’s. They hide out under a table with Doug and Julie. She sings them torch songs and Doug recalls his old adventures in the tunnel in rhyming couplets.
A wave of chowdah flies across the ballroom, sending Abe and Kayla into a pile-up in the corner in the closest thing to sex either of them have had in years. The substance also covers Cam as he slips and slides across the floor while Abby remains trapped in the elevator of doom. The gooey white fluid reminds him of how much he has come to care for Abba. He flashes back through their torrid summer romance of box socials, sack races and all night marathons of Curious George. By the miracle of love, she is thinking exactly the same thoughts. However, all of the slow motion flashes of his grin are interrupted by the nagging fact that she is about to die in a putrid pink outfit. The elevator creaks and it’s about to tumble. Somewhere Chloe shudders.
And speaking of things falling… Sami plummets straight at Lucas as she falls from the landing after her dad nearly pops a cap in her. The stress is so great that it’s caused her ass to inflate like a life preserver. After bouncing off of Lucas’ head, she ricochets around the room before deflating on top of a crate of DiMera brand artichoke dip. Seeing how gracefully her posterior can buzz through the air reminds Elvis of his profound connection with her. Even more importantly, the artichoke dip reminds him that it was one of Santo’s favorite ways to seduce wayward young women with bad accents. He suddenly realizes that he is still the spitting image of his non-grandfather. While Lucas and Roman are lecturing Sami, Elvis remains transfixed and realizes he must have been cloned from Santo’s DNA. But how?
Deep down in the gassy underbelly of Salem, Mel is perplexed when Andrew is talking to Gabi in a way that is too familiar for a stalker. “Yo Gabba Gabba, what’s up with that?” Mel asks her frenemy. Before she can answer, Brady lunges at them while Chad leaps on Andrew to pummel him. More Styrofoam and papier mache rocks tumble down from above. That’s what happens when everything relies on mob construction. Trapped under the wreckage, Brady begins to dig his way out by going down. Going by the level of geographic knowledge common to Salemites, he’s sure that he can reach Beijing or Toronto if he can get down a few more feet. Unfortunately, it’s so dark he can’t see what he’s doing and doesn’t notice he’s on top of Mel. She doesn’t even know which direction she’s facing so she tries digging up and the two of them go nowhere.
Back up in the ballroom, John and Marlena are trapped under the dessert table. They are panicking so much that their eyebrows are leaping back and forth across their faces. She gasps and burbles until he tries sucking the terror out of her mouth. When that fails, he fills her mouth with the strawberries on the floor and licks whipped cream off her face as she pats his head and he groans, “Doc!” Across the room, Nicole thinks she’s about to go into labor thanks to all of the stress. On opposite sides of the building, both Rafe and Daniel suddenly think that they’ve developed a case of sympathetic pregnancy when they notice they are standing in pools of water and start feeling cramps. They guess something must be wrong with Nicole. As they frantically search, Kate is busy searching for Ian, who has managed to corner Madison in the green room where he finally reveals that he is actually an android.
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Photo Credit: Soap Opera Fan Blog
Fun fact! Matthew Purvis wrote this story just for you on August 3rd, 2012 |