Matt’s Musings On Days Of Our Lives For The Week Of July 8-12.

Thoughts on Days.

After taking her morning bath in Pepto Bismol, Sami let it bake onto her flesh under the DiMera sunlamp before hitting the vegetable patch at the hospital. Rafe was preparing to come out of his coma. A small cheering section arrived to help him open his eyes. As they bickered about who should and shouldn’t be there, he had nightmares about people trying to kill him, including Stefano and Sami. Down in the basement of the hospital, the generators breathed a sigh of relief when news came that Rafe’s brain would start running on its own again. It took a while, but his eyes started to creak open. Kate wisely ditched her fishmonger’s outfit from last week and dressed in a more subdued fashion. Just to make sure that her brother was awake and assuming he would be doped up, Gabba wore some kind of psychedelic throw pillow. But Sami’s merciless peptological madness was almost enough to completely drive poor Rafe out of his senses and back to the land of nod. The doctor banned her from his bedside, but she quickly snuck back in and nearly drove him to the brink again. Post-vegetable, Rafe warbled out his first sentence as he asked Kate why Sami tried to bump him off. Kate tried keeping this query to herself but Hernandez was soon asking the same thing to Kayla and Abe. Eyebrow raising followed.

While Sami was being implicated in a violent crime, a different kind of criminal activity was at work. Stefano flew back to Salem, confident that he had quashed EJ’s revolt without even having to stroke his chin. He was shocked to land and discover that Mr Shin had double-crossed him and sided with Elvis, ousting him from DiMEra Enterprises and his home. Stefano didn’t take the news well and vanished without giving his son much of a chance to gloat. EJ proceeded to gloat to the rest of the family. He assured them that he wouldn’t be like his father. He started growing his beard in immediately. Once again, Elvis proved that there is no one he loves more than Stefano. Not only did he take his house, his business and begin competing in the facial hair department, he also had an even worse portrait painted to hang on the wall. When Sami came home and he told her what he did, he managed to impress her by screaming in her ears about how much more potent he was than Stefano. This really turned her on. Her cleavage sweated until he soaked it up with his stubble, plopped her on the chessboard for some decidedly unsanitary rooking and then they proceeded to the infamous DiMera couch of caked on carnality to add a few more stains. The next step in his redecorating plans will involve he and Samanther sitting on the photocopiers at DiMera Enterprises and then papering the walls with the printouts. Then they will have the whole garden painted pink to match Sami’s outfit of the week and finally let the kids finger paint over the brain spatter still left on the wall. Meanwhile, Chadsworth pondered whether or not he should move in with his big bro. He continued to suffer from the unseen trauma of falling on his face at the Salem beach, or fishing hole, or sink hole or whatever they call the imaginary water we never see on the pet cemetery set.

Not to be overshadowed by her siblings, Kristen barrelled ahead with her plot against Eric. Things continued to look bad for the priest. Seeing his sister snarling in her pink outfit wasn’t helping things. He kept praying for help. Daniel kept swearing for it. The specialists came up empty. Kristen continued loudly plotting her sex scandal in the town park. She got her video editor to preview the tape for her under one of the trees to see if the birds and bees would approve. The editor seemed to enjoy watching this priest defrocking more than Kristen did. Perhaps she was still thinking of Sami and her sweaty bosoms… Then the dastardly DiMera made a trip over to the rectory to have a vague, quasi-theological debate with Eric about Hell. He left to have a more coherent conversation with Ciara, leaving crazy K alone to try and clobber Jesus with her handbag.

And the mischief making continued as Theresa settled in. Not only is she Jenn’s new assistant, it was also revealed that she is Kim and Shane’s less than darling daughter. Just to make this as ominous as possible, Sami chimed in to say that Theresa reminded her of herself when she was young. Across town, Adrienne was in a tizzy about her son prematurely aging thanks to his joining the poop patrol. She went around town arguing with everyone she could about this. Will seemed more concerned than anyone that she might actually be on to something. However, she hadn’t quite caught on to the fact that incriminating evidence against Sami was sitting right under her shnoz.

Lines of the week:

Sami: She reminds me of myself when I was her age.

Sami: I saved Rafe’s life!
Kate: And now you’re trying to kill him!

Chad: Did you think I was going to challenge him to a duel or something?

Will: Having a kid makes you more mature.
Lucas: I don’t know. It didn’t really work for me. And your mother has like four kids and she still acts like she’s twelve.

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Fun fact! Matthew Purvis wrote this story just for you on July 12th, 2013 |

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